that tech support story everyone knows

So yeah, I know this is one of those kinds of stories that get told All The Time, but that doesn’t really stop it from being hilarious when it’s happening to you.

At my workplace, we have neighbors. In the way of many neighbors, we get along best when the door between us is shut. But one evening this week, one of our neighbors comes over.

Neighbor: “Is the internet down over here?”
Me (online): “Um. No.”

Neighbor: “I can’t get online, and I need to, because of reasons!”
Me (trying to be helpful): “Okay, so, when you try and get online, can your computer see the network?”
Neighbor: [[confused expression]]
Me (conversationally backtracking): “Are you connecting wirelessly?”
Neighbor: “I’m using my phone! It’s always worked before!”

Me: “I don’t have an internet-enabled phone, so I may not be able to help you. I guess — can your phone see the network?”
Neighbor: “It’s always worked before!”
Me (knows this already): “Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on?”
Neighbor: [[expression says: you are a moron]]

Me (peering over neighbor’s shoulder at phone): “Oh my gosh, why is the Eye of Sauron on your phone?”
Neighbor: “That’s what it does when it’s turning off or on.”
Me (thinking): have you considered that your phone might be possessed by an evil entity?
Me (out loud): “Really?” [[wander away so Sauron can’t see me]]

Me: “So, did it work?”
Neighbor (hard to tell if facetiously or not): “You’re a genius!”
Me: …

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