movie review: Beauty & the Beast 2017

I took some notes as I was watching.

1. Okay, I think we all learned from ‘Frozen’ that you have to look carefully at the terms and conditions. If the spell doesn’t say romantic love, it doesn’t have to be romantic love. Which makes it pretty depressing, because that would mean this guy didn’t even take the time to get to know his own employees during the cursed years. Really, pal? Were you even trying?

2. Clearly Belle’s dad has not read as much as his daughter. ‘Ah, here I am in a creepy and *obviously* set apart from reality in some way castle.’ (the snow, if nothing else) ‘I think I’ll first eat something, and then take something. That’s never had dangerous consequences ever!’

3. Wait, wait — please tell me there’s a fic where both Maurice and Belle are just like ‘hey, sweet enchanted castle! Landlord’s a bit grumpy, but it’s way better than our village! We’re both staying!’

4. Or one where they keep switching off. ‘Oh, Papa had to go to the market for some new tools; I’ll be here till he gets back.’ And ‘Belle wanted to go to the library fundraising event, I’m taking her spot for a few days.’

5. Also, the fact that LeFou pays everyone to sing Gaston’s song is A+.

But I got a little bored, during the ‘look, we’re falling in love’ montage, and I stopped taking notes. I really thought the music box would be more important?

Overall I thought the movie was long, but I had fun watching it.

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