wait, really?

June 20th, 2018

Waaaaaaay back at the end of May, I ordered some stuff online. It was a promotional offer, so it was a good deal, but the site was all ‘we’ll try to get this to you within two weeks, but it could take as long as five weeks, so unless you haven’t received anything by June 30th, don’t bother contacting us.’ (I mean, that’s paraphrased, but yeah, pretty much.)

And of course I was all ‘haha, this is the golden age of internet shopping; nothing takes five weeks!’ And then, of course, nothing happened for a while. Well, I say nothing.
They pre-authed my credit card after two weeks, and then it sat there long enough to drop off again.

Yesterday my card was pre-authed again and actually charged. This morning — TRACKING INFO. It’s on the way! I am both delighted and the tiniest bit suspicious (given that nothing about this has been easy so far) that something will go awry. WE SHALL SEE.

workaday Tuesday

June 19th, 2018

All the days are jumbled! It’s planarchy!

I am in the unusual position at work of having nearly every day include a re-enactment of this exchange from ‘The Emperor’s New Groove’:

Yzma: Kuzco is dead, right? Tell me Kuzco’s dead. I need to hear these words.
Kronk: Uh, do you need to hear all those words exactly?

[Just to clarify, death is not involved in my job. If that was in question. So in my case it’s more like this:]

Boss: ‘The thing happened*, right? Tell me it happened. I need to hear these words.’
Me: ‘…Do you need to hear all those words exactly? In that order?’

[*Where the ‘thing’ is anything from a shipment arriving to a bit of paperwork getting approved.]

I mean, there’s a real upside here. Kronk’s a good dude. He can talk to squirrels, along with other woodland animals! He can cook! He’s got a good memory! There could be worse characters to feel a kinship with, is what I’m saying.

The ONE real downside is that I cannot find a single fellow ‘Emperor’s New Groove’ fan in the office to truly enjoy this situation with me. And so I gift it to the internet.

fic rec Monday

June 18th, 2018

Because I missed doing a fic rec on Friday, so why not? Also I re-watched Star Trek: Beyond over the weekend, and that means it was also time to re-read my fave STB follow up fic!

Bluebird, by waldorph

“I suppose if you lose sight of what we’re out here for…” Sulu trailed off and shook his head. “No, I still don’t see how you get to maniacal genocidal despot.”

not sure this counts as a plan

June 17th, 2018

Passwords are so prevalent these days that I can barely keep track of the ones I use all the time, let alone the ones that are like a once-a-year login. For the super important ones I have various reminders set up, which would hopefully keep me from being locked out if I ever got amnesia. (Like quicksand, amnesia is one of those things that has turned out to be a much less significant risk than it seemed in my childhood.)

But for the one-off logins, I’ve reached a point of mostly giving up. Now I just pick whatever pops into my head, and reset it every time I need to get back into my account. (Note: this works fine as long as you never, ever change your email address.)

I can only guess that technology will eventually move past the password era. It’s possible that I won’t like whatever comes next either. But cell phones are pretty cool (a tiny computer in my pocket!), so who knows?

caturday, and the living is easy

June 16th, 2018

Plans for today:

1. yard sale

2. trip to the hardware/craft store (it’s the same store, b/c that’s how this town rolls)

3. ???

4. Father’s Day dinner

turtle tales, part 2

June 15th, 2018

Very important turtle update: I have seen a BABY turtle! I was taking my walk on Tuesday morning, and as I approached the far end of the street, there was a little bitty baby turtle in the road!

*Of course, I did not have my phone with me. Still no photo evidence!

*This one was on the danger side of the road (where cars would be driving into the turnaround), and was v. smol (smaller than my palm!). It was also not exactly crossing the road; more like chillin’ in the road. I was concerned.

*So you better believe I MOVED THAT TURTLE. (Like a foot, over to the grass.)

*I did try to encourage it to move on its own first, first by awkwardly crowding it and then by poking it gently. When neither of those worked, I just picked it up (carefully!).

*It seemed fine with turtling off into the grass after that. GOOD LUCK, BABY TURTLE!

*Yes, Mom, I washed my hands afterwards. : )

workaday Thursday

June 14th, 2018

Yesterday at work someone described me as “the opposite of high-strung.” Shocking, I know. I wish I could say that it is Exhibit A in my new and improved lower-stress outlook on work. However, that would perhaps be untrue. More likely it is because:

1. Both of us work closely with another employee who takes high-strung to new heights. It is genuinely possible I appear somewhat mellow in comparison.

2. Despite working together for more than eight months, this coworker has never actually paid attention to anything I’ve ever said. This would not surprise me in the least.

3. I am already using up all my high-strung-ness on other things. There’s only so much panic I can rustle up at any given moment, and so many potential topics to choose from.

the case of the disappearing turtle

June 13th, 2018

The building I work in is on a dead-end street, and it’s nice to take a short walk down to the end and back before I start my day. Last week I started my walk, and as I got towards the far end, I realized there was something in the road. A TURTLE. (Small turtle. Maybe about 6 inches long?)

I was going to take a picture, but when I got closer it got nervous and tucked everything in, so it would have sort of looked like a picture of a rock on asphalt, which didn’t seem super impressive. But it seemed to be headed across the road, and it was not very far across. A couple feet? Definitely less than 25%.

And I thought THIS IS MY TIME TO SHINE. I was gonna help that lil’ turtle cross the road! But first I thought maybe I should double check my ‘help a turtle cross the road’ info, so I pulled up the google box and did a quick review while I popped down to the end of the road. (There are no more buildings that far down the road, so it’s not like the turtle was in imminent danger of getting run over.)

It was probably less than two minutes by the time I got back, ready to rock and roll with my turtle assisting. But it was GONE! Not in the road, not on either side of the road (that I could see). WAS THERE EVER A TURTLE AT ALL?

So as far as I can figure out, the turtle was totally faking it when I walked by the first time, all ‘oh woe is me, the road is so wide, and I am so small, however will I get over to the side of my dreams?’ And then as soon as I passed by, it hustled itself right across. Well played, turtle. Well played indeed.

fun with clippers

June 12th, 2018

[*Bonus fact: I thought it would be interesting to know why we call clippers “clippers,” like it’s plural. Then I realized that’s not universal, and is probably just me using the word wrong. It is not going to stop me.]

So I have clippers now! I have now used them one (1) time, so I feel perfectly justified in sharing my extremely limited brand new knowledge.

*I thought cutting my hair with scissors (done while my hair is wet) was messy. Cutting hair with clippers (done while my hair is dry) is So Much Messier! Should have gotten the vacuum out BEFORE I started.

*It’s fast, though. Like, damn.

*And FUN. Wow. It was a little bit “Lucy and the Christmas tree” there for a while.

*Ears are harder than I thought they would be. (Even with the special “ear guard” attachments.) The glasses present a challenge. They’re totally in the way, but on the other hand, not sure I want to do it blind, either.

*The back of the neck is a LOT easier with clippers than scissors. A LOT.

weekend walk recap

June 11th, 2018

Had an excellent walk in the woods this weekend!

*Saw a Baltimore Oriole! (Okay, I saw a bright orange-red non-cardinal bird swoop by and took a guess.) Also a pileated woodpecker! (Very sure on this one. ‘Does it look like a woodpecker, but sized like a crow?’) And a heron!

*Did not see a turtle. After all this time, am beginning to think the ‘turtle viewing area’ sign may be a joke.

*Saw a toad and a snake! (Not together. Both of them startled me, though. The toad was quite graceful about it — hopped to the side of the trail and then just chilled out. The Very Small snake and I were the opposite of graceful. It was sunning itself on a trail bridge, and I didn’t notice until I was almost on top of it. At which point I did a super awkward ‘don’t step on the snake’ dance step, and it flung itself off the bridge into the marsh. Not either of our best moments.)

*Saw a deer! Very classic.

*Lots of mosquitoes. Some ticks. Way too many gypsy moth caterpillars.

*Saw three Good Dogs. (Including the Chinook!)

In conclusion: it was great!