mirror months

November 8th, 2018

In my mind, January and July are the two poles of the year, and the other months mirror around them.

February = December
March = November
April = October
May = September
June = August

The year makes so much more sense this way (to me). AND it means that November is the March of this half of the year, which makes it the perfect time for a vacation!

in other news

November 7th, 2018

I have now had my eyes dilated, so the good news is that I’m pretty sure I can get away with NOT doing it again for at least another four years. (They did not have the special picture-taking machine, sadly.) It was a weird experience in SO MANY ways.

1. The optometrist did not believe me that I had never had my eyes dilated before. I had to repeat this multiple times, and even then they seemed skeptical.

2. Absolutely zero explanation was given. What are those drops they put in my eyes? I have no idea. Why did I have to chill out in the waiting room for 15 minutes afterwards? I have no idea. What was up with the ‘look towards your left shoulder/right knee/ceiling’ directions? No idea. I guess I’m fine? OPTOMETRY IS A MYSTERY.

3. When I was told, ‘it will wear off in a couple hours,’ that was a LIE. My appointment was at 10:00 in the morning. By 4:00 in the afternoon, my eyes were still very visibly dilated (and not matching amounts, either, which looked super weird). Between the headache and the light sensitivity, it basically shot the whole day.

I thought I was pretty clear about my reluctance to have this done, but the optometrist seemed confused by it. Afterwards, I was told, “See, it wasn’t so bad!” Um, yeah, it kinda was, actually. I wasn’t putting it off because I thought it would cause excruciating pain; I was putting it off because it meant someone acting on my body in a way that took it out of my control and out of its normal ability to do its own thing.

Anyway, I spent most of the time thinking about how appalled Dr. McCoy would be over our current standard of eye care. Bring on our Star Trek future!

Ctrl+PgUp switches tabs without clicking

November 6th, 2018

One of the challenges of working in an office-type environment is making sure you look “busy enough” to appease anyone who might be watching. This is a fool’s game, but workplaces are weird. Anyway, it means I read fic at work by downloading pdfs from AO3 and emailing them to myself.

[This does not in ANY way prevent my work from recovering these files or seeing what I’m doing. I mostly figure they have other things to worry about that are more important than slapping my wrist for reading on the clock.]

Currently I’m working through the ‘time travel fix-it AU’ tag. Which I highly recommend! These fics are:

1. Long — it’s nice to come back to the same fic again and again throughout the day, or over the course of several days.

2. Plotty — but often based on plot I’m already familiar with, which is helpful when I’m reading it only a little bit at a time.

3. Satisfying — it’s the fix-it tag! Things are fixed! Yay! Confetti! It’s a parade!

Eragon re-watch

November 5th, 2018

My amazing family picked up a copy of the movie ‘Eragon’ at a yardsale over the weekend, so naturally it was time for a re-watch!

Some Thoughts, In No Particular Order:

*What’s up with Murtagh’s accent? It appears and disappears just like the props!

*Saphira can fly faster than a horse can run; she can carry two people; she can see in the dark. Given that, no part of their travel itinerary makes any sense at all.

*On the other hand, the scenery is actually amazing (wikipedia says the movie was filmed in Hungary and Slovakia; very pretty mountains!), so there’s a point in favor of traveling during the day.

*I’m not sure what the book relationship was between Eragon and Arya, but in the movie she is clearly his mom. Every interaction they have makes more sense if you assume that to be true.

*Are there really only two named women in the entire movie? (Yes.)

TRAVESTY (part 2)

November 4th, 2018

After my accidental purchase of scented swiffer cloths, I figured I had three choices.

1) Take them back. Could be done, but ran the risk of getting me identified as a ‘difficult customer’ at a store I go to all the time. Also it was totally my fault for not reading the package carefully.

2) Throw them away. It was less than five dollars of investment, but it’s the principle of the thing. Let’s face it, I was never going to go with this option.

3) Keep them.

Naturally, I went with #3, because that was the easiest possible route. Except I decided I should store these travesty-scented cloths somewhere other than the usual cleaning supplies place (under the kitchen sink), so I put them in the front closet with the coats and shoes and stuff. (I don’t know; it made sense at the time?)

And now all my coats smell vaguely swiffer-scented, which is — not the *worst* thing they could smell like? But it’s a little weird. Truly, this experience is the gift that keeps on giving.

hi, I’m boring

November 3rd, 2018

Occasionally, my workplace has social-type events. Holiday parties, after-hours get-togethers, bowling nights, etc. Which means occasionally I have to find ways to get out of said events. And since the answer to ‘are you going to this event?’ is really never supposed to be ‘no, I don’t want to,’ regardless of how “voluntary” they are, a bit of extra strategy is required.

The best technique I’ve found, when asked such a question, is to say ‘no’ and immediately follow it up with an alternate activity you will be doing which is INCREDIBLY DULL. For example: “Will you be going bowling?” “No, I’ll be vacuuming my kitchen.” (Note: this is actually what I did Friday night instead of bowling.)

The key elements to this strategy are 1) be truthful (it will come across as more convincing, unless you are good at lying, in which case, say whatever); and 2) pick a truthful element of your plans that is super boring. No one cares about my vacuuming the kitchen plans. In fact, just mentioning them is enough to make most people decide there is little benefit to encouraging my sparkling presence at their social event.

In short: being boring is a surprisingly effective strategy for avoiding social obligations. Who knew?

it’s bats all the way down

November 2nd, 2018

My workplace decorated the break room for Halloween, which mostly consisted of hanging paper bats on the wall. (It was cute! And we got donuts! A win-win.)

But the wall in question was already holding the company’s yearly manifesto, or whatever it’s being called this year. (Apparently “plan” is just not dynamic enough, so there’s always some other name for it.)

And BEST OF ALL, when the bats were taken down, one was missed, presumably because it blended into the plan!board, or possibly the decorating team has more of a sense of humor than I thought. So now when you look at the wall, it shows Goal 1, Goal 2, Goal 3, BAT!

Which, honestly, sums up this year pretty well.


November 1st, 2018

Now that Halloween is over and it’s officially Christmas (I guess?!?!), might I recommend the site BlackerFriday. One of my New Year’s resolutions this year was to get off the email mailing lists cluttering up my inbox with sales I didn’t take advantage of, and while this has been wonderful in many ways, it does leave me sadly bereft of knowledge of Black Friday deals and discounts. Problem solved!

Happy Halloween!

October 31st, 2018

It’s Halloween! My workplace does office Halloween, so we are (somewhat) encouraged to wear costumes. (Some bosses are more encouraging than others. Mine has chosen to take the whole week off, and has never uttered the word ‘Halloween’ in my presence, so I decided their opinion didn’t matter.)

Anyway, I wanted to participate, but in like, an easy way. So I googled ‘easy office Halloween costumes.’ (Gosh I love the internet!)

Conclusion: Rosie the Riveter is the easiest, comfiest Halloween costume. Really as long as you can find the bandana, you can fake the rest of it — my biggest concern was finding a button-up work shirt that I could fit another shirt under, because it’s pretty cold in our building. Also I will be wearing a belt to work for the first time EVER in the history of my employment at this company, which is a weird milestone, but I think funny enough to rate a mention.

big work news

October 29th, 2018

It is New Vending Machine day at work! I’m pretty excited, because all workplaces need something to chatter about, and a new vending machine seems like it will be more interesting than the weather.

In other news, my boss is on vacation this week, and my coworker is working from home for an unspecified period of time. Which is kind of nice, because it means I get to go hang out with the other teams instead, and probably no one will care if I take extra breaks.

It’s the little things, really, that keep us getting up and going on.