"There's no such thing as an ordinary human."

-The Doctor (10), in The Lazarus Experiment

Author's Note: "Journey's End" left some loose ends. I'm all for tidying things up, and the idea of a super-crossover to get the band back together was too delightful to ignore. So, here goes.

Warnings: rambling; a sad tendency to fall back on the American way of talking

****************************

No Ordinary Human

"Sarah Jane!" It was Maria's voice, and Sarah Jane could hear her footsteps hurrying up the stairs.

"I'm up here!" she called back. It wasn't necessary; Maria was already on her way to the attic. It was, however, reassuring -- to call out and hear someone answer, to know things were as you expected them to be. Sarah Jane thought they could all use a little extra reassurance right then.

The Earth had been back in its usual place in the universe for three days, and already people were starting to rationalize. Shops were open, mail got delivered, the sun set and rose again properly. People got up and went to work -- their boss was still an idiot, their wife still rang to nag about groceries. If there'd really been alien planets in the sky and killer robots in the streets, wouldn't things be more... different?

"Sarah Jane!" Maria burst through the attic door. "Oh, hi Luke. What's that?"

"Hi Maria," Luke said. "It's a scanner, probably. Mum's not sure."

Sarah Jane smiled. She was mostly sure it was a scanner, and completely sure it was broken. She was also about 99% sure it was harmless, broken or not. Those were remarkably good odds in her line of work, and since Luke seemed to share her urge to stay close to home for a while, tinkering with broken tech was as good a choice as any.

"How are your parents, Maria?" Sarah Jane asked. Maria and Clyde managed to avoid most of the recent excitement, but she was expecting at least one more alien freak-out from Alan at some point, and Maria's mother was still giving her suspicious looks when she thought Sarah Jane wasn't watching.

"They're fine," Maria said quickly. Apparently, whatever she'd come rushing over to talk about wasn't to do with them, then. "Did you know they want to open the school tomorrow?" She said it like the very idea was inconceivable. "The whole planet's been invaded by aliens, and we're supposed to go back to school?"

Sarah Jane held back a sigh. She knew how Maria felt. Travelling with the Doctor, she'd seen things beyond her wildest imaginings, and then she'd ended up back on Earth, and everything had seemed so small. It had taken her years to learn that those huge, grand moments could be found anywhere, and that in every huge moment -- every revolution, every war, every great hope and terrible tragedy -- all the little things still happened. People still went to school, and chatted about the weather, and worried they'd left the iron on. And those same people were capable of changing the universe. She thought maybe that was what the Doctor had been trying to show her all along.

But she didn't know how to say any of that to Maria, who was so new to the world of aliens and Time Lords and impossible things -- who looked so young and reminded Sarah Jane so much of herself at that age that she wanted to laugh, or sometimes cry. So she just said, "You'll have to go back sometime, you know."

Maria frowned. "That's what my dad said." She looked exasperated that the two adults were agreeing, and dropped onto the sofa. Sarah Jane saw Luke look in her direction, most likely about to share that he didn't have to go to school. She resisted the urge to shush him. He could tell Maria anything he wanted.

Maria started up again before Luke had time to do more than open his mouth. "But he said I could come ask you, and I could skip if you weren't making Luke go back tomorrow." Luke instantly looked 100% absorbed in poking the little scanner with a screwdriver. Amazing how quickly he'd picked up that human habit. It took Sarah Jane a half-second longer to parse Maria's words, and then it was her turn to frown.

She knew what Alan was trying to do, even if he didn't, and she thought (rather uncharitably) that it was no wonder he'd ended up divorced. Alan clearly expected her to back up his decision. What he still hadn't figured out was that Sarah Jane wasn't a typical parent, and Luke was far from a typical teenager. That bit of knowledge was about to come back around and bite him, because she wasn't going to lie to Maria. Some things were more important than school.

"I've asked Luke to stay home tomorrow and help me with a project," Sarah Jane said. "I'm sure it's perfectly safe to go back to school, but Luke won't be there."

"I knew it!" Maria said excitedly. "Clyde's gonna be thrilled -- we'll see you tomorrow then, yeah?" And she took of down the stairs with a wave.

**********************************

Wilf had called first, just after they'd gotten home. He'd sounded close to tears. She didn't even know how he'd gotten her number; she'd only met Donna briefly, and they certainly hadn't taken the time to exchange personal information.

"It's Donna," he'd said, and his voice made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. "The Doctor made her forget everything, and you can't contact her or she'll die."

Unfortunately, getting the unabridged version didn't make things any clearer. "The Donna Situation," as Sarah Jane privately thought of it, was classic Doctor all the way. He saw a problem, he fixed the problem -- completely failing to tell anyone what he'd done, or consider all the details that actually were important when you weren't planet-hopping through time and living on a spaceship. She loved the Doctor, but there were times when she thought she might hate him too, just a little bit.

Out of "The Donna Situation" was born "The Donna Project." Obviously, it was completely unacceptable that one of the Doctor's companions could be robbed of all her memories of what she'd done and who she'd become. They would have to fix it. And that project had somehow become ... this. An unlikely meeting that had grown to near-ridiculous proportions.

It started small -- Wilf called Sarah Jane, who called Martha. Martha called Jack, who suggested calling Mickey. Four people, meeting at Sarah Jane's house for tea and biscuits, and brainstorming, and ransacking alien technology to figure out a solution. Then Sarah Jane invited Luke (and then accidentally Maria and Clyde as well). Martha arrived with Mickey in tow, fresh from UNIT debriefs. They'd barely finished introductions when Jack pulled up (and how they thought their organization was a secret when its name was plastered all over the vehicle like that, Sarah Jane would never know). He had three people with him, only two of whom seemed to actually be associated with Torchwood.

That was when Alan arrived, and the rain started again.

***********************************

"Wait, so he didn't erase her memories, he just ... suppressed them? And if she ever does remember, she'll -- what did the Doctor say?"

Clyde looked at Luke, who helpfully supplied, "Burn up."

"That doesn't make any sense," Jack said. If there'd been space, he probably would've been pacing, but things were pretty cramped in Sarah Jane's living room.

"No kidding, mate," Clyde retorted. "Her granddad said she'd been chasing this Doctor bloke for a year -- loads of people must know about it. Plus it's still all over the news about the planets in the sky."

They certainly weren't a quiet group. Alan had left early on, but that still left eleven people scattered around Sarah Jane's living room -- tucked up together on furniture, sprawled out on the floor, leaning moodily on windowsills -- that last one was actually just Jack, but he had enough presence to count as two or three people.

Every time someone spoke up, it seemed like two others would chime in with, "Wait, I missed that one; which Doctor was that?" or "Go back -- was that in this time?" It made for a confusing conversation, especially since Mickey kept saying things like, "Oh wait, that was in the parallel dimension, sorry." They did manage (eventually) to sort out brief outlines of when each of them had traveled with the Doctor, and what they each knew about Donna.

It wasn't until later, over lunch, that they finally started making progress. "You think he used the Chameleon Arch on her?" Jack asked, gesturing with his chopsticks.

"It's the only thing I can think of," Martha said.

"Hold on, I thought the Chameleon Arch took the Doctor's 'Time Lord essence' and put it in a watch." Mickey looked at Martha, who nodded. "So where's Donna's watch?"

"That's just it," Martha said. "I don't think there is a watch. I think the Doctor took the Time Lord part of Donna and hid it in her own brain, and then he had to suppress all her memories of him --"

"Because accessing the memories would be like opening the watch, yes, that's brilliant!" Jack looked excited for all of three seconds, then he frowned. "No, that still doesn't make any sense. Why would he do that?" Martha gave a helpless shrug.

Sarah Jane opened her mouth to speak, but Luke beat her to it. "It's not a stable state. The Doctor must expect it to change."

"Maybe he wants you guys to fix it?" Maria suggested.

"But why wouldn't he just do it right the first time?" Gwen asked. She seemed to be the Clyde of Jack's team -- the one who asked the questions everyone was thinking, but no one else was willing to say out loud, in case they ended up looking foolish.

"You obviously haven't met the Doctor," Mickey muttered.

*********************************

By nightfall, they still hadn't come up with any brilliant solutions, and then they had to work out who would be staying overnight. The kids all trooped over to Maria's house, but no one else wanted to leave. Sarah Jane took a moment to be grateful that no young ears were present when her remaining guests started discussing sleeping arrangements.

Jack volunteered his team to take the living room, but he was vetoed soundly by Gwen. "You just want to show off your Torchwood pajamas," she said.

"No, I want to show off your Torchwood pajamas," Jack countered with his most charming grin. "I'm fine going without, if you'd prefer."

"I'll take the living room," Mickey said firmly. "You lot should be behind closed doors." He threw a pillow at Jack, who laughed.

"You know, on some worlds that would be considered an invitation."

Torchwood ended up with the guest rooms, and Sarah Jane told herself firmly she didn't want to know how the four of them would split up the available space. Martha would be borrowing Luke's room, and there was a flurry of activity moving things in from cars and sorting out towels, and toothbrushes, and making sure everyone knew where the glasses were in the kitchen. Then it was quiet -- as quiet as it could be with seven people in the house, at least. Some motherly instinct drove her to make one last check around (or maybe she just wanted to see if Jack's team really had Torchwood pajamas).

Mickey looked asleep; the glow from the kitchen light showed him sprawled across the sofa. Without the playful banter or easy smile he'd been using all day, Sarah Jane could see he looked older than the last time they'd met. No flashy pajamas for him -- he was fully dressed, hadn't done more than take off his shoes and jacket. One hand was resting on his backpack where it sat on the floor. He looked like he was ready to leap up and run at a moment's notice, and she wondered -- not for the first time -- what exactly he'd been doing in that parallel dimension.

Both guest room doors were closed, but one had light spilling out all around it, and she could hear low voices from inside. Giving in to her curiosity, she knocked. Gwen opened the door, and Sarah Jane blinked at the sudden increase in light. "Is everything all right?" Gwen asked.

"Is that Sarah Jane?" she heard Jack's voice say. "Let her in."

The door opened wider, and Sarah Jane stepped inside. Jack was lying in the middle of the bed, one arm over his eyes. Ianto was sitting cross-legged next to him, a book in one hand, and the other running absently through Jack's hair. Gwen, of course, was at the door, and as Sarah Jane entered, Rhys (the non-Torchwood extra -- apparently he was married to Gwen) stuck his head out of the connecting bathroom, toothbrush in hand. Sarah Jane laughed -- all four of them did, in fact, have matching dark gray pajama pants, covered with the Torchwood "T."

"It was this or a tattoo," Ianto deadpanned. "At least these have pockets."

***********************************

Sarah Jane woke up when her bedside lamp started flashing on and off. It was both incredibly irritating and utterly impossible to sleep through -- which was why she'd wired it to do exactly that whenever Mr. Smith picked up something interesting at night. She debated waking the others, then decided against it. Better to find out what was going on first and call for backup second.

"Mr. Smith, I need you," she called as she entered the attic.

"Sarah Jane," the computer's calm voice answered. "I have detected several ships entering Earth's orbit. They appear to be --"

"Sarah Jane!" Jack skidded into the room. "I just picked up a massive energy surge coming from -- oh." He looked at the computer. "Mr. Smith, I presume?"

"Yes." The computer blinked and whirred. "And you are Captain Jack Harkness, current leader of Torchwood Three, based in Cardiff, Wales."

"Mr. Smith -- the ships?"

"Four ships," the computer specified. "They appear to belong to the Shadow Proclamation."

Jack's wrist strap beeped. "The Hub's AI is picking up the same ships," he said. "What's the Shadow Proclamation doing here?"

"You have an AI?" She hadn't known that.

"It's new," Jack said. "-ish."

"You left a new AI all alone on top of a Rift?"

Jack just raised his eyebrows and gave Mr. Smith a pointed look. Well, that was fair. His computer hadn't tried to destroy the Earth. Yet.

"One of the ships is broadcasting a message to UNIT headquarters," Mr. Smith said calmly.

"Can you patch into it?" Jack asked.

"Don't bother," Sarah Jane said. She could hear Martha's voice on the stairs. "Martha's coming."

"Well, I don't know where he is now," Martha was saying. She raised a hand in greeting as she entered the attic, then rolled her eyes. "It's not like he left an itinerary. The chances of him still being in this time are almost infinitesimally small." She paused, listening. "No, I will not call him." Another pause. "Then tell them to take a look around the universe, because there's 27 planets back where they're supposed to be, and that's because of the Doctor. Tell them we don't want him angry with us."

Martha put her hand over the bottom half of her phone. "The Shadow Proclamation's here," she whispered to Sarah Jane and Jack. "They want to arrest the Doctor."

Martha finished her phone call just as Mickey dragged himself into the attic. He'd put his coat back on, and Jack smirked at him. "No pajamas in the parallel dimension?"

"Shut up," Mickey said, with a look that was half glare, half 'I'm still mostly asleep and can't deal with this right now.' "Just 'cause you're in your jimjams -- bet you've still got enough weapons on you to make Sarah Jane boot you out of here forever."

"You're welcome to look for them," Jack said sweetly, holding his arms out to the sides. Sarah Jane didn't miss the quick glance in her direction though. So he was armed. In his pajamas?

"No guns," she said firmly.

"No ma'am," Jack said. "No guns. Scout's honor."

"Okay," she said, ignoring her suspicion that Jack Harkness had never, in any time, been a Scout. "So -- why does the Shadow Proclamation want to arrest the Doctor?"

"They told UNIT the Doctor came to them for help, then ran off when they tried to commandeer the TARDIS to go to war with the Daleks," Martha explained.

"Yeah, I can see how he wouldn't like that much," Jack said. "He must have realized the Earth was missing before we contacted him."

"But that's the weird thing," Mickey said. "He should've been here already. Rose was sure he'd be on Earth when the Daleks took it."

"Why?"

"After she absorbed the Time Vortex energy, Rose was always sort of... connected to the TARDIS. She'd been trying to use it to send a message; she said she'd finally got through right before she came over. Used the translation circuit to plaster her own personal SOS over everything."

"Bad Wolf," Jack guessed, and Mickey nodded. "Clever -- that'd get him back to Earth, all right. But the dimensional phase shift was probably deflected by the TARDIS' shields -- he would've been stuck back here, without the Earth."

"And then he went to the Shadow Proclamation?" She wasn't convinced.

Jack just shrugged. "They're the only non-temporal intergalactic policing force that even exists in this time. At the least, he could've gotten more information from their scanners than the ones on the TARDIS."

"And now they want to arrest him." Martha frowned. "Can they even do that?"

"Technically?" Jack said. "I'm not even sure they have a policy for Time Lords. Practically speaking, they could probably make things uncomfortable for him, if they ever caught up with him."

"You think that's why he bugged out of here so quick?"

"Could be. It could explain why he did such a slapdash job on Donna, too. If they're looking for a Time Lord, they might not care which one they ended up with."

"Sarah Jane." The computer's voice broke into the conversation. "The Shadow Proclamation ships are leaving orbit."

"Good," she said firmly. "I'm going back to sleep. Anything else can wait until morning."

***********************************

***********************************

Jack could tell when Sarah Jane stepped into the doorway, but he kept his eyes on his coffee. Considered by many to be Earth's greatest contribution to the universe, morning coffee was one of his favorite rituals in this century. Especially after nights when he didn't sleep (most of them, and all of them since the Crucible) -- coffee was a way to mark the new day, and leave the old one behind him.

"Coffee?" Ianto asked. "There's tea as well, if you'd prefer."

"Tea would be heavenly, thank you, Ianto," Sarah Jane said. "Where's Mickey?"

Jack's back was to Sarah Jane, and he answered without turning around. "He's with the kids, across the street. Something about breakfast?"

"Good, that's good," Sarah Jane said, and there was an awkward pause.

Jack finally looked up when Ianto said, "I'll just go check on the others."

Sarah Jane sat down opposite him and clasped her hands loosely around her tea. "There was something I wanted to talk to you about," she began.

Jack was fairly sure he knew what was coming next, but he smiled anyway. "I'm all yours."

"It's about Luke," Sarah Jane said, after the tiniest hesitation. Well, that wasn't what he'd been expecting.

"I know this isn't the best time -- we're here to help Donna, and I don't want to invite trouble, but --"

"Whoa, Sarah Jane, it's all right." Jack cut her off. "It's fine. Just tell me what's going on."

He'd already known the basic outline of what had gone down with the Bane. For all that Torchwood and UNIT were supposed to be separate, some things were harder to cover up than others. Sarah Jane filled in the details about Luke himself -- pretty impressive, for a kid who was less than a year old.

"When I left him here, I was so scared. If something happened to me … things have been changing in UNIT, I don't know if I can trust them to protect him. He's still just a child, Jack."

"But you trust Torchwood?" Jack asked, and he knew there was disbelief in his voice.

"I trust you," Sarah Jane said.

"Look, Sarah Jane…" he started.

"It's just -- he's really smart, Jack. If the wrong people started coming after him, I don't know how much I could do. I couldn't even protect him from the Slitheen. I'm not set up to go on the run, but I could -- I would, in a heartbeat, but it would mean a lot if we had somewhere to run to. Or someone Luke could go to, if I wasn't -- if I was gone."

"I can't promise that I can keep him safe, Sarah Jane."

"I know," Sarah Jane said. "I just don't want him to be left all alone."

That hit a little too close to home for comfort, but Jack could certainly understand her fear. "We'll leave the light on for you," he said. "But if things ever go south, remember that Luke needs his mother, too. I know Torchwood's not exactly subtle, but if you need us, we'll be here."

Sarah Jane gave a little grimace. "Thank you," she said. "I hope you won't be offended if I say I hope to never see you in that capacity."

"Oh?" He grinned. "Does that mean you'd be willing to see me in some other capacity?"

His question succeeded in making Sarah Jane smile. "You just never stop, do you?"

"No," Ianto answered dryly, re-entering the kitchen. "Never. That's how we know he hasn't been possessed by an alien entity."

Martha was right behind Ianto, with Gwen and Rhys trailing in sleepily a moment later. That was when Jack realized Mickey'd had the right idea going over to the Jackson's house for breakfast, because Sarah Jane's kitchen was in no way stocked to feed six hungry people. They fudged it over with cold cereal and leftover take-away, but there were definitely some jealous looks when the two groups joined up and words like "waffles" started being tossed around.

"Look, let's get back on track," Jack said. He wondered if he should give some sort of a morning pep talk. It could include some inspirational words about human ingenuity, or maybe the importance of free choice.

Instead, Maria said, "Yeah, we can't miss school forever."

Well, they'd certainly all raced against deadlines for more ridiculous reasons. "Right," he said. "So, what have we got?"

Mickey's exasperated tone only highlighted the frustration they were all feeling. "What we've got doesn't make any sense," he said. "There's the Doctor -- the original one -- who's still himself, far as we know. Donna's granddad said he was alone when he dropped Donna off, so he must've left the other Doctor in the parallel dimension with Rose. The second Doctor got made from the first one's creepy hand, when he and Donna and the hand got all mixed up with the original's regeneration energy. Both of them got Time Lord knowledge and human bodies --"

"Hang on, do we actually know that? That they're both physically human?" Everyone looked at Sarah Jane. "It just doesn't make much sense that combining regeneration energy with a Time Lord hand and a human would turn out two completely human bodies," she said. "Did anyone actually scan Donna afterwards?"

No one had, obviously, and there was a moment of uncomfortable silence. Jack wanted to be able to say there was no way the Doctor would've run off in the face of a potentially new twist on humanity, but he couldn't. He was exhibit A in the counter-argument to that one. Then again, maybe the Doctor had just been trying to avoid the Shadow Proclamation, and had left them all the help he could.

"Does it make a difference?" Mickey wanted to know.

"It could," Jack said. "If we had any ideas."

Right up until that moment, Jack would've said Luke was as lost as Maria and Clyde appeared to be, but he suddenly said, "Maybe it's like a computer. Like the difference between using the RAM and storing things on the hard drive."

"Luke, what are you talking about?" Maria asked.

"I don't think it's the knowledge itself that's the problem," Luke said, blushing a little as the room focused on him. "She was using it at first; you said she was fine. But it all got dumped into her brain at once as new information, like a computer running too many programs."

Clyde, at least, seemed to sense where Luke was headed. "It freezes," he said, and Luke nodded.

"The Doctor could put all of it in the hard drive part of his brain, because he'd -- sort of, at least -- already learned it all, a little bit at a time. But Donna had it all trying to process through her short-term memory, and it didn't work --"

Sarah Jane jumped in excitedly. "Because it's like trying to open a program that's too big! Oh Luke, you're brilliant!"

It was Rhys who asked the obvious question. "I know I'm new to all this," he said cautiously. "But does that help?"

Clyde was practically bouncing by that point, but he looked at Sarah Jane before he said anything. She just made a "go on" gesture, and Clyde grinned. "It does when you've got a computer that can eat people," he announced proudly.

**************************************

Jack stared out at the rain -- still raining; they were going to have to start worrying about flooding if it kept up much longer -- and considered how messy things like this invariably became. Especially with children involved. Young people, he could almost hear Sarah Jane correcting, but they still looked like children to him. They always asked the questions you least wanted to answer, and tended to dive head first into the moral gray areas that adults were usually willing (or hoping) to gingerly sidestep.

Gray area number one, in Jack's mind, was titled 'oh, and just how did you end up with that warp star, Ms. Smith?' Maria wanted to know why the Doctor hadn't asked Sarah Jane to help in the first place, since she already had all the equipment and technology. And somehow, the kids decided that Jack would be the best person to ask.

The short answer, of course, was because the Doctor didn't know they had it. Unfortunately, the short answer just led to more questions. Why not? (Because we don't tell him everything.) Why wouldn't Sarah Jane want to tell the Doctor about the massive supercomputer she built that turned out to be a sentient alien creature that tried to destroy the Earth? (Because he might take it away, and we'd have to start over again.)

It was hard to explain -- anything, really -- to 14-year-olds, but especially the whirlwind that was the Doctor. How he could burst into your life and change everything, and he seemed to see the biggest picture and the tiniest details at the same time, or maybe just alternating so fast you couldn't tell the difference. And then sometimes, you'd fall into some gaping blind spot of his, and you'd have to decide whether he was saying 'don't ever do that' because it would mean irrevocable damage to the timeline, or just because he was feeling a bit cranky.

Jack thought the Doctor was somewhat of an impossible thing, for all he insisted that was Jack's territory. He grabbed up companions and spent all his time trying to get them to think, and then he dropped them off and acted surprised when they just kept on thinking, and doing, and making things happen. Sarah Jane had more alien information stashed away in her attic than Torchwood had in whole warehouses, and was probably listed in the "persons of interest on sol 3" files for at least a dozen races. The Doctor might know that, or he might not. He could go from seemingly omniscient to utterly clueless in the blink of an eye, and Jack had never been able to figure out when he was faking. Maybe he never was.

Jack emerged from his rambling thoughts to see three confused faces looking back at him. "What it comes down to is this," he said. "The Doctor's brilliant -- he knows at least something about almost everything -- and he's also a little crazy. But he never just gives up, and we're not going to either."

None of the teens appeared particularly enlightened. Jack tried again. "It's possible, if the Doctor was here, that he would disapprove of this plan. We have no idea if it will work, or if it will blow up in our faces and fry Donna's brain. It's also possible that the Doctor left Donna as she is just so we'd do this exact thing. If you start analyzing it you'll wind up in a loop and never do anything at all, and that's the opposite of everything the Doctor stands for."

Martha poked her head into the room. "Jack, I'm not sure you're helping," she said. "Come on guys, time for lunch." The kids filed out, leaving Jack alone to stare out the window again. Hopefully they'd go to someone else for any other tricky questions.

*********************************

"Oi, is this it?" Mickey held up a sparkly bit of tech. It looked suspiciously like a set of handcuffs Jack had once owned. Or a spare coupler for a 36th century asteroid hopper -- it was pretty dusty.

Sarah Jane barely glanced at it. "No," she said. "I don't actually know what that is -- not the memory keeper, though."

Jack looked around the attic, at the absolute piles of stuff they hadn't checked yet, and wondered again how Sarah Jane had managed to accumulate so much. In under 30 years. On Earth. Jack had been on the planet for more than a century, and could still fit everything he cared enough to own into a knapsack.

It was down to the three of them, searching for a device Sarah Jane remembered as being "smallish," which was about as helpful as you might think. Originally, everyone had been looking, but Sarah Jane kicked most of them out after the third time someone tried to open K-9's portal. He wasn't sure where they'd all gone off to, but everyone had their mobiles, and the police hadn't called, so he assumed they were fine. Sarah Jane had stayed, of course, since she (hopefully) knew what the thing looked like, along with Jack (since he at least had a vague idea of what it might look like), and Mickey (who'd shown a surprising talent for not picking up the most dangerous thing in his vicinity and turning it on).

"Ha! I knew I'd put it somewhere safe!" Sarah Jane crowed excitedly, and Jack grinned. She was so much like the Doctor in some ways.

"That's it, then?" he asked.

"Doesn't look like much," Mickey said.

"Neither does the TARDIS," Sarah Jane said tartly. "From the outside, at least."

"You said it was a gift?" Jack prompted.

"Yes, years ago. I don't know where they were from; they simply called themselves the People."

Mickey snorted, and Sarah Jane glared at him.

"Hey, humans call their planet 'Earth,'" Jack said. "I think we're in a glass house as far as throwing the creativity stones goes." Sarah Jane still looked a little peeved, so Jack continued. "I lived in a glass house once. Fun planet; big on sharing. They even had a glass..." He trailed off when he saw both Sarah Jane and Mickey staring at him with wide eyes. "Anyway -- the People, you said? Never heard of 'em."

"They were travelling -- emigrating, really, across the stars," Sarah Jane explained. "It was sheer coincidence they stopped on Earth at all. Most of them had never seen the surface of a planet before."

"A generation ship?" he asked.

"Yes. The devices store the memories of all the People, so they don't forget as they're travelling. When they reach their new world, millennia from now, they'll still be able to remember what their last home was like. Their ancestors, their journey, everything -- right here on this."

Sarah Jane looked down at the device in her hands. "Well, not this one specifically. It's not networked with the others. Once Donna's been absorbed into Mr. Smith's crystalline matrix, we can trigger her memories -- Mr. Smith has enough capacity to keep the 'program' from freezing, and then we can use this to safely store everything."

Jack very much doubted it would be that easy, but the device was tickling his own memory. He was sure he'd run across something similar somewhere. It was Mickey who spoke up first though. "So this thing, it's like a backup brain, yeah?"

"Ah, no," Sarah Jane said. "Not exactly."

"Think more ... library," Jack said. He held up his hand, and Sarah Jane tossed him the device. "It looks a little like a virtual environment manipulator. Does it --" He poked at it a few times, and the device obediently changed it's shape into a (really rather ugly) cuff bracelet. "There we go. Virtual environment memory library, in a handy wearable format. Don't put it on," he warned, tossing it to Mickey. "Unless you want Donna to have access to all your memories."

"No way, mate." Mickey nearly dropped it in his haste to give it back to Sarah Jane.

"Mr. Smith," she said. "Can you hold onto this for us, please?"

"Of course, Sarah Jane." The computer slid out a small drawer, and Sarah Jane set the device inside with a soft click.

"Right," she said. "Now we just have to find Donna."

"You mean kidnap her," Mickey said.

"Think we can get away with calling it a rescue? Intervention?"

"Let's call it lunch first," Sarah Jane said. "We can tell the others we've found it, and work out a plan to approach Donna."

It was a good plan. It would have been an even better plan if there'd been anyone else in the house to share it with. Or if there was a note. Or if they'd been able to reach anyone, instead of having all their calls go to voicemail.

"I haven't tried Maria's mother yet," Sarah Jane offered, but she made no move towards the phone. Which was why when it rang, Jack was the closest. He grabbed the receiver even as the other two lunged for it.

"Hello?"

"Who is this? Is Sarah Jane there?"

"Captain Jack Harkness, ma'am. And who might you be?" Jack winked at the others, and they rolled their eyes.

"This is Chrissie Jackson." Jack's smile dropped. This was the woman who'd gotten Sarah Jane arrested. Also the woman whose daughter and ex-husband seemed to be missing, but hopefully he wouldn't have to tell her that. "Is my daughter there?"

"No ma'am," Jack said. He paused, not sure if she would press for more information.

"Well, I'll try her father again," Chrissie said. She hung up, and Jack looked at the phone in surprise.

"That was Maria's mother," he said.

"Charming woman, isn't she?" Sarah Jane smiled ruefully. "She doesn't know about any of this, by the way." Her vague gesture could have meant anything, but Jack assumed she meant aliens, Torchwood, her daughter investigating mysterious happenings, Luke, etc, etc. "It doesn't matter to me one way or the other, but Alan and Maria haven't told her."

The phone rang again. "Hello?" Jack said.

"Jack? Is my mum there? She left a message for me to call."

Well, that was an unexpected surprise. "Luke?"

Sarah Jane took the phone. "Luke? Are you all right? Where are you?" She covered the bottom half of the phone to relay Luke's answers. "He's fine. He's with Maria and Clyde. They were at the library."

Into the phone, she said, "Are any of the others with you?" And then, "Come right home," followed by, "Tell Maria her mum called looking for her."

"None of the others are there," Sarah Jane said, hanging up the phone. "They were supposed to be buying groceries and coming back here." She looked worried, and Jack felt his own worry ratchet up several notches.

He said, "Sarah Jane, see if Mr. Smith can track them somehow. Mickey, go meet the kids and get them back here, quick as you can. I'll check in with the Hub."

Mickey looked at Sarah Jane as if to say 'are we really going to let him be in charge?' Jack thought that was fair -- when they'd been in trouble on the Dalek Crucible, she was the one who'd whipped out a warp star, after all, and who would've predicted that? But Sarah Jane just nodded. "Right, I'm on it," Mickey said, and headed for the front door.

"The Hub has an emergency number," Jack explained to Sarah Jane as they hurried up the stairs. "We don't use it much -- usually we're all on the headsets when things go wrong." Or not checking in on purpose, he thought to himself, but he didn't think it was the best time to foist his team's occasionally dysfunctional dynamic on Sarah Jane. "Depending on what's happened, it might have been wisest not to draw attention to this location by calling any of us."

Sure enough, there was a message waiting, but it wasn't Ianto's or Gwen's voice. Maybe Alan?

"Hi Maria," the voice said hesitantly. "This is Dad." Definitely Alan, then. "I'm not going to be home for lunch like we planned. I've been held up with some friends. Don't worry." There was a pause, and then he continued, clearly repeating something from memory. "Ianto says he hopes you still have that book scanner, but if not, he's sure there's another one right around here he can replace it with." Another pause, and a shuffling sound. "I've got to go now. Bye Maria; love you."

"I've got something," Jack called.

"Me too," Sarah Jane said. "Sort of. What's yours?"

"Message from the team. Let me see if I can hook it up to play on speaker."

It wasn't until the second playback -- Mickey and the kids arrived safe and sound halfway through the first one, and they'd had to start over -- that Jack figured out what Ianto was trying to tell him.

"So they're okay, and together, but detained," Sarah Jane surmised. "What about this 'book scanner'? Is that a code?"

"No, it's really a book scanner," Jack answered. "It also unlocks doors, and we're not really sure why. But we got it from Torchwood London -- they had a whole stack of them up in the Tower."

"Of course!" Sarah Jane said. "That's why Mr. Smith can't find them! I've got a map of all the areas he can't scan, and that's one of them."

"Why?" Luke asked.

There was a noticeably awkward silence. Jack wasn't sure how much Sarah Jane knew about Torchwood One and Canary Wharf. Was she not saying anything because she didn't know, or because she didn't want to explain? Mickey, who he knew had actually been there, wouldn't meet his eyes, and remained stubbornly silent.

Jack just said, "There's too much cross-dimensional energy floating around the area. This kind of scan probably won't be able to get accurate readings there for years yet. It's perfectly safe, though. Who's coming on this rescue, then?"

*********************************

*********************************

She was surrounded by nutters. In a locked room. Which was so very not good, but probably just what she should have expected. Still, it was marginally better than being in the locked room all by herself. Probably.

"Oi -- you there! Yeah, you," she said. "Over here." She watched the one in a suit exchange not-at-all-subtle looks with his cohorts, and rolled her eyes.

Suit Guy approached warily. "I haven't got all day, you know," she said. Which wasn't exactly true, since they were locked up and all, but it made her feel better. The five others had been escorted in together, and from the sounds of it, they had no idea why they were there. Although one of them had gotten to make a phone call, which was more than she'd been able to do -- she supposed it was too late to claim she had worried children too.

Donna was pretty sure she knew what had gotten her locked up -- it probably had something to do with sneaking into the building to see if she could find out why people kept going in and not coming out. It was a strange building anyway -- supposed to be empty -- and it gave her the willies. She'd spent a lot of time staring at it over the past few days, drinking coffee across the street. It was just too weird to be at home. Her granddad was avoiding her, and her mother -- never short on opinions about Donna's life -- was suddenly keeping them to herself.

Donna felt restless and dissatisfied (probably because she was unemployed, she kept waiting for her mother to say). She kept getting that feeling that she was supposed to be doing something, if only she could remember what it was. It was driving her crazy. Almost as crazy as the wackos she'd been locked up with, with all their whispering and pointing and comparing the contents of their pockets. Ridiculous.

"Listen up," she said, when Suit Guy finally sidled close enough so his oh-so-interested friends wouldn't be able to eavesdrop. "I may look stupid," Donna told him, "but I'm clever enough to figure out when something's gone sideways." In fact, she was hoping she'd been quite a bit cleverer than that, but she didn't want to jinx anything. "Is that phone call you lot made going to do any good?"

Suit Guy looked taken aback, but he recovered quickly. "It will," he said. "They're probably already on their way." He paused, then added, "Why do you ask?"

There was a knock on the door -- very strange captors, knocking on locked doors. Polite, but strange. The same man who'd politely escorted her to the room, and then locked the door behind her, entered. "Donna Noble?" he said. "You're free to go. Your claimant has arrived." Ha, she thought. Take that, Suit Guy. And since he was confident his own rescue was on the way, she could leave without guilt.

Of course, once she'd collected her belongings and made it out of the building, the guilt was there anyway. She thanked Ricky -- he drank almost as much coffee as she did, and she'd shared her investigative plans with him. Once she'd strongly suggested how helpful it would be to have a backup plan, he'd agreed to wait an hour, then follow her in and kick up a fuss. Good thing, too.

She got as far as the corner before she started dialing. Stupid guilt.

"Hello?"

That didn't sound like a woman's voice. It sounded like a kid. In the background, Donna heard someone say, "Who is it? Is Mickey lost again?"

"Is this the phone number for Sarah Jane Smith?" Donna asked.

"Um, yes. Who's calling, please?" Quieter, she heard the boy say, "Mum, it's for you. It's not one of the others."

"My name is Donna Noble," Donna said. "I --"

She was quickly cut off. "Hang on please." Then she heard, "Mum, it's Donna Noble. What do I do?"

Okay, Sarah Jane Smith was clearly just as weird as she'd been warned. Another voice said, "Luke, I'm driving. Give the phone to Maria, please."

And then a girl's voice chirped in her ear. "Hello? Donna? This is Maria -- Sarah Jane is driving right now."

"I need to speak with her right away," Donna said.

The thing about using a mobile in a car was -- and she wasn't sure the people she was talking to knew this -- you really could hear quite a lot of the surrounding noise over the line. Someone said, "Ask her how she got this number."

The chirper -- Maria -- obediently repeated, "How did you get this number?"

Short of demanding the girl hand the phone to Sarah Jane Smith (which might work, or might get her hung up on), Donna couldn't think of any options other than playing along. "From Penny Carter -- she's the science correspondent, at The Observer." She heard Maria relaying the answer. "Penny said Sarah Jane was the one to call about ... weird things happening."

Without prompting, Maria asked, "Are you all right?"

In the background, someone else said, "Where is she?"

"London," Donna said, not waiting for Maria to repeat the question. "I'm fine. I've just been at One Canada Square, and there's definitely something weird going on there." Maria passed her answer along. She could hear people talking, but couldn't make out the words -- how many people were in that car, anyway?

Pressing on, she said, "I went in, just to look around, of course, and I got locked up. There were some other people who got locked up later who are still in there."

"Isn't that the Tower?"

"Why didn't she call the police?"

"Why was she in there in the first place?"

Donna didn't bother waiting for Maria to pick a question and pass it along. "Look, I'm only calling because I felt bad that those people are still stuck there, and she's supposed to be the one who handles weird stuff like empty buildings that are actually full of people. I don't have to tell you anything."

There was a sudden silence, as if someone had finally thought to put their hand over the voice pickup, and then there was a new voice on the phone.

"This is Sarah Jane. Donna, I'm glad you called. Are you somewhere safe now?"

Donna snorted. "If a sidewalk in London is safe, yeah."

"I'm going to go check it out, but I'd like to talk to you about what you saw. Could we meet later?"

"Oi, watch where you're going, buddy!" Donna berated a passing runner. "Sorry, yeah, what?"

"I'm in Ealing, 13 Bannerman Road. Can you meet me there later?"

It seemed like an odd request, but Donna was distracted by the confrontation rapidly developing in front of her. The runner she'd yelled at had collided with a cyclist, and their argument was spilling out into the street. "13 Bannerman, Ealing, got it." She hung up, not wanting to miss anything.

**********************************

**********************************

This sort of thing could only happen if it was somehow connected to the Doctor. Even when he wasn't there, he still added that extra little bit of chaos. Not just chaos, though -- any crazy person could cause that, no trouble at all. The Doctor's particular brand of chaos (and crazy) was always peppered with the most bizarre coincidences.

Really, it explained why the Doctor never seemed to have a plan -- nothing would ever happen the way it'd been planned anyway, and the things that did happen couldn't possibly be planned for. Apparently you got used to it if you were around him long enough. Mickey thought Sarah Jane was like that; she probably wouldn't be phased at all by the scene in front of him. Mickey, on the other hand, who still hadn't really processed the fact that he'd switched dimensions again, and kept expecting Rose to be there to tell him what to do, threw his hands in the air. "I quit," he said. "Who the hell is that?"

That was a near-hysterical woman in Sarah Jane's front yard. "No idea," Martha said, looking fascinated. She was another one like Sarah Jane -- nothing got to her. Mickey checked behind him, but there was still no sign of the other two vehicles. It seemed monumentally unfair that he'd arrived too late to enjoy the cakewalk "rescue" (he'd gotten lost once -- okay, twice), but was now too early to avoid dealing with the hysterical stranger. At least he had plenty of practice -- spending time around Jackie would give anyone a leg up in that department.

"Hello?" Mickey asked carefully, as he and Martha approached. "You alright?"

They'd pulled into the driveway just in time to see the woman come diving out of one of Sarah Jane's ground level windows, shrieking. "Help!" she yelled. "It's after me!"

Mickey's hand went for the gun he wasn't carrying, and Martha moved to stand protectively in front of the woman. He watched the house as Martha tried to get the woman calm enough to tell them something useful. "What was it?" Martha asked.

"It was awful! It tried to kill me!"

More useful than that, preferably. Martha hustled the woman towards the car. He weighed the possibilities: one, the woman was crazy (with subsets for plain old Earth crazy, pretending to be crazy, and not actually crazy but just accidentally in the wrong place/time/dimension); two: she'd messed around with something she shouldn't have and had gotten a scare; or three, there really was something dangerous and deadly inside the house. The woman wasn't obviously injured; no alien substances were visible, and there were no strange lights or noises coming from the house. More importantly, nothing followed her outside. Odds were good it wasn't option three.

Still, there was no reason to go racing into the house without more information. Especially when it was (for the moment, at least) perfectly safe outside, and there was considerable backup on the way.

"What happened?" Martha tried again.

The woman seemed slightly calmer with two people and a car between her and the threat. "It tried to kill me, that's what happened! I knew there was something suspicious about this place!" Well. Not that much calmer.

"What do you remember?"

"We were just looking around. The window was open, we didn't mean anything by it."

"We?" Martha prompted.

"Donna," the woman said. "Haven't you been listening? That thing -- that machine! It killed her!"

They were going in circles. Mickey put his hand on the woman's shoulder and caught her eye. "What's your name?" he said.

"Chrissie," she said defiantly. "And the window wasn't locked; it never is. That's --"

He cut her off. "Chrissie Jackson?"

"That's right," she said. "Who are you? More of Sarah Jane's mysterious 'friends,' I suppose."

"Chrissie, we need to go inside and figure out what happened to Donna. I want you to go across the street and stay there. Can you do that for us?"

Chrissie frowned, but turned away as if she was leaving. Then -- of course -- she turned back. "You can't tell me what to do," she said indignantly. "If you're going in, I'm going in. You could be criminals, or -- or thugs, or something."

Mickey wanted to point out that it wasn't them who'd broken into a locked house on a whim, but he kept quiet. Martha just rolled her eyes and said, "Fine, come on."

As they headed cautiously towards the still open window (neither Mickey nor Martha had a key, and the window was open), Chrissie rattled on about how she'd been looking for Maria, and seen a strange woman lurking (her word) about. They'd started talking, and somehow talked each other into a little unlawful entry. Not exactly what Sarah Jane expected when she'd invited Donna to stop by. Of course, there was always a chance that this Donna wasn'tDonna Noble, but it seemed unlikely.

Luckily, Chrissie's story trailed off after they entered the house, so no one had to tell her to be quiet. Everything looked fine. "Mr. Smith?" Mickey called softly. Sarah Jane hadn't said, but it only made sense that the house would be wired for sound. No matter how much you appreciated the concept of exercise, it'd be crazy to have to run all the way up to the attic every time you had a question.

"Yes, Mickey?" the computer's calm voice replied. He could sense Chrissie working herself up again behind him, but he ignored her.

"Did you dematerialize Donna?"

"Yes."

"Is it our Donna?"

"Yes."

"She okay?"

"Donna Noble is currently in stasis."

"I'll take that as a yes." He mentally calculated how many seconds they had before Chrissie started yelling again. "Martha?"

"On it," said Martha, already disappearing up the stairs.

The shouting started just as everyone else (finally) got back.

*********************************

"I still don't understand why we just left them there."

"They're performing a public service!"

"Yeah, but they're kidnapping people!"

"Only because of your temporal energy signature -- it's not like it was personal."

"Yeah, I'm sure you would've been grateful if you'd ended up here by accident after that mess with the Daleks."

"If you hadn't acted so suspiciously and refused to tell them anything --"

"Donna was right there, Jack, what were we supposed to do? We couldn't risk triggering her memories."

Six people made a lot of noise, Mickey decided, as the group spilled into the house with an explosion of words and laughter (and in Jack's case, indiscriminate flirting -- Mickey'd seen him cooing at a glowing orb just that morning). The kids weren't with them, but no one looked worried, so he figured they were fine.

"Where is my daughter?"

"Chrissie!" Alan looked stunned to see his ex-wife standing in Sarah Jane's living room. He immediately looked at Mickey, who just shrugged.

"She was here when we got back," he said. He saw Jack and Ianto shift protectively towards Sarah Jane, who looked nervous.

Chrissie folded her arms and tapped her foot. "Well?" she said.

And as fun as watching that conversation could be, there really were more pressing issues. "Donna's here too," he said quickly, before anyone could interrupt him. "In stasis; Martha's up there now."

"What?"

Everyone started talking at once, and then Maria bounced in the front door, trailed by Luke and Clyde. All three of them were carrying take-away bags.

"Maria!" It was close enough to a yell that Mickey winced.

"Mum!" Maria looked as startled as Alan. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you! I told you it was dangerous to be around this woman."

"Dangerous?" Now Maria just looked confused. If she was faking it, she was a pro. "Mum, we were just getting food. And this morning we were at the library -- didn't you get my message?"

Jack cut in smoothly. "Alan, why don't you and Chrissie take this --" He handed Chrissie one of the bags of food. "-- to the kitchen and work on explanations. Gwen? Rhys?"

Gwen nodded, and the four of them trooped into the kitchen. "Great," Jack said, herding the rest of the group towards the stairs. "We'll just be in the attic."

*********************************

*********************************

Donna woke up in darkness. "Hello?" she called. Lights came up from somewhere, but it didn't help. She still couldn't see any doors, or windows, or walls, and that seemed bad.

"Donna? Can you hear me?"

Well, she certainly couldn't see them. "Who's there?" she said.

"Donna, this is Martha," the voice said. "I'm a doctor; we've met before. There's a bracelet on your wrist -- no, please don't take it off."

She hadn't even noticed it. Now that she was looking, though… "What is it? What's going on?"

"Donna, please listen. We're your friends. We want to --"

"Is this one of those cults?" Donna asked, suddenly suspicious. "You won't get to me. I'm not listening." She put her hands over her ears and hummed loudly.

After a minute, she wondered what she was supposed to do next. She still had no idea what was going on, or how to get out of wherever she was.

A picture appeared in front of her -- an odd-looking blue box with the words "Police Public Call Box" on it. Donna snorted -- she'd call the police all right, just as soon as she got out of there. The blue box disappeared, replaced by a scrawny man with funny hair. Then a rapid flash-flash-flash of people and places -- she didn't recognize any of them, until suddenly she did, and she remembered. There was a blinding pain in her head, and she collapsed.

Only to find herself in the control room of the TARDIS, with the Doctor standing in front of her. "You!" she said sharply. "I cannot believe you pulled something like this!" She stopped, and narrowed her eyes. The image -- because it wasn't really the Doctor, or the TARDIS; it couldn't be -- took one hand out of his pocket and tugged on his ear.

"I expect that's finished your first round of shouting." He waved. "Hello, Donna Noble. You'll likely never see this, but it will still be there, tucked away in your brain. You do have a lovely brain, you know. Lovely human -- well, mostly human -- brain. And you saved the universe with it! You're brilliant! Donna Noble -- absolutely brilliant, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

There was a pause, and the Doctor looked away towards one of the control panels. "That's it, really," he said. "I always seem to muck this bit up, but here goes." He smiled, a tiny little quirk of a grin, and said simply, "Well done, Donna. Thank you."

******************************

She got her own memories back first. Everything -- from appearing in the TARDIS in her wedding dress, to buckling under the strain of 900-plus years of knowledge. She thought it was everything, at least -- it wasn't like she'd remember if there was something she was still forgetting.

"Donna? Donna, can you hear me?"

"Martha? Is that you? Get me out of here!"

And suddenly she was out, in a room she recognized. "Did I break into your house?"

Sarah Jane shrugged. "If it makes you feel better, I did invite you here. And I'm fairly certain Chrissie's broken in before. It happens." She paused, then asked, "Donna -- do you remember us?"

"Of course." She said it automatically, because that was what you said when someone asked if you remembered them. Anyway, she was pretty sure she remembered most of them, at least.

"You're Sarah Jane Smith." Donna looked around the room, identifying people as she went. "Martha Jones, Mickey Smith. Bloke I was locked up with -- am I supposed to know you? Were you following me?"

The one in a suit said, "Ianto Jones, ma'am. Torchwood. And no, that was just a coincidence, I'm afraid."

"Not that we wouldn't have followed you," someone said cheekily. She recognized the accent, and turned to face its owner. "We just hadn't gotten to that part of the plan yet."

"You, I remember," Donna said, looking at Jack. "You -- huh." She blinked, then squinted, shaking her head.

"Are you all right?" Martha asked.

"I think so, yeah," Donna answered. "I just -- is there something weird about you? You're all tingly, or sparkly or something."

"Well, that's better than 'wrong,' I guess," Jack said. "I don't die," he explained. "Sort of an accident, really."

Donna frowned and poked his arm thoughtfully. "No, that's not it. Never mind, it'll come to me. I can feel it -- I'm clever again, right? Wait, I'm not going to die a horrible death now, am I?"

"No," Sarah Jane said. "Hopefully not. We don't think so." Not exactly a ringing endorsement.

Martha jumped in. "The bracelet is an alien device that's used to store memories. Right now it's helping you store all the information you got from the Doctor. You should be able to access it --" She looked at Sarah Jane, who looked at Jack.

"Ever run into a virtual environment with the Doctor?" he asked.

"Sure, yeah," Donna said. Not any she particularly wanted to share, but yeah.

"The bracelet works similar to a VE. It will most likely adjust to your personal preferences the longer you have it, but you should at least be able to use it in the standard immersion mode and a more basic information access and retrieval mode." That was… confusing, but still infinitely better than having her brain short out.

"There is one other thing," Sarah Jane said. "You probably shouldn't take it off."

"You're kidding."

"No, afraid not. It is waterproof though," Sarah Jane offered. "Probably flameproof too. Possibly bulletproof, though I wouldn't test it."

"And after it gets used to you, it'll probably let you manipulate it's appearance," Jack added. "If it likes you."

Donna regarded the device on her wrist warily. "Is it… alive?"

Jack shrugged. "Highly advanced technology, magic, alive -- there's not as much difference as you might think, really. Does it matter?"

"I'm no good with house plants," she warned.

"Don't worry, Donna. I think it likes you just fine." Sarah Jane's words were reassuring, although her expression seemed to add, 'Although I'm just guessing, since it is a completely alien device.'

"Right," Donna said decisively. "That's sorted for now. Catch me up on what I missed."

***************************

***************************

Jack made a mental note to invite Donna to the next Torchwood Christmas party (generally held in October, since by December the world tended to need saving again). He could see why the Doctor liked her -- heck, even Ianto liked her. They'd bonded over filing, or maybe the irritations that sprang up from hanging around the Doctor and Jack.

After Donna got her memories back, there were introductions all around (again), with bonus 'catching up' stories. He could practically see the kids' shock level rising with each tale. Sarah Jane made no effort to censor any of them, though, and everyone else followed her lead. Maybe nightmares and paranoia were a fair trade-off for not thinking the alien-seeking business was all exciting romps through time and space, with occasional planet-saving using sonic hand tools.

Mickey was deep into an explanation of what people could suddenly think was a good idea when the stars began going out -- up to and including actually using something called a "dimension cannon," when Donna said, "Didn't you say this thing wasn't networked?"

And there was just no way that was leading somewhere good.

"I thought it was just leftover Doctor at first," she continued. "But this one's definitely a woman, and I'm pretty sure there's more than one." She turned to look at him and squinted again. "They definitely recognize you, for some reason."

"I think we need to get you back to Mr. Smith," Sarah Jane said, but Ianto held up a hand.

"How many people, would you say?" he asked.

Donna closed her eyes. "Quiet down, you lot," she muttered. "Stand still, I'm trying to count you." Her eyes opened and she slowly refocused on Ianto. "Ten," she said. "Probably."

"Six women, four men?" Ianto said.

"Could be -- why?"

"Ianto, what are you thinking?" Ianto had that look on his face that said 'I know something you don't know, and I figured it out first, and even if I gave you a hint you probably still wouldn't get it, because I am just that good.'

"Six women and four men, who know you and are telepathically connected to Donna Noble through an alien device?" Ianto's expression now said 'Am I really going to have to spell this out for you?' "I'm thinking Torchwood Four."

"Torchwood what?"

"What does that have to do with Donna?"

Jack gestured for Ianto to explain. "About three years ago, a woman calling herself Donna Noble showed up at Torchwood London and demanded to see Yvonne Hartman. She said she was a code 799D -- she had future knowledge of the Doctor, but couldn't reveal it because it could damage the timeline."

Jack, who was wondering why he'd never seen that report, couldn't hold back a grin at the thought of Donna facing down Yvonne. A 799D couldn't be retconned or forced to divulge any information they didn't choose to share. The downside, of course, was that they also weren't allowed back into the general population, but a duplicate Donna Noble would have wanted to go anyway.

"Torchwood's hands were tied by its own regulations, and Ms. Noble was eventually shunted to Torchwood Four," Ianto said. Probably when Yvonne got tired of arguing with her. "Within a week, the head of Four was arrested for tax evasion, Donna Noble took over as leader, and the whole organization disappeared."

"Disappeared how? What happened?"

Now that report, Jack had read. Speculation ran rampant for months after the disappearance, fueled by London's paltry search efforts. Theories ranged from the wild -- they'd been time-shifted and turned invisible -- to the even wilder -- they'd been part of a top-secret experiment and London was trying to cover up their deaths. Cardiff was never invited to join the search, and Jack had secretly wondered if the real answer was that Torchwood Four had done a runner, and were all living safe and sound in obscurity somewhere far away. If anyone could do it, after all, it would be Torchwood.

"No one knew for sure," Ianto said. "Although the rumors were certainly… creative. They simply vanished, leaving behind an empty base and CCTV footage that showed the whole team going in one morning and never coming out. London sent people to search, but there was nothing to find, and the investigation was called off after a short time."

"Are you saying this person in my head -- in my head, mind you -- is really me?" Trust Donna to cut through to the real heart of the issue.

"How do we know it's Torchwood Four?" Martha wanted to know. "We've met aliens with mind control powers before -- what if it's something malicious?"

It was on the tip of Jack's tongue to say the real problem would be if it was both -- a malicious, mind-controlling Torchwood Four would be a force to be reckoned with -- but Mr. Smith chose that moment to re-enter the conversation.

"Sarah Jane," the computer said. "Are you aware that a second memory storage device of alien design has just entered the house?"

Jack's headset pinged, and Gwen's voice said, "Jack, Ianto, is Donna there with you?"

Jack looked at Donna and raised his eyebrows. "I'm looking at her right now. Why?"

"Then we've got a problem; Donna Noble just knocked on the door and let herself in."

"Well, send her up," he told her. "No, wait. Is Chrissie still here? Either send her home or get her to shut up; we'll come to you."

*******************************

*******************************

"But how could this have happened?"

Sarah Jane sympathized with Rhys. He looked completely bewildered by the two Donnas sizing each other up. She hadn't understood time travel even when she was doing it herself, but being around the Doctor taught you to focus less on the how and why, and more on the 'what should we do now?' Plus, Luke had an excellent grasp of temporality, and she could always catch up on it with him later

The second Donna began to explain again (third time and counting). "This is how it was explained to me," she said, shooting a look at Jack. "By Captain Harkness."

"In the future," Rhys said, and Donna nodded.

"The time… stuff," she said, rolling her eyes at the word, "in this dimension, for quite a number of years in either direction from now, is much more fragile than usual. It's been through a lot -- Rifts, and Reapers, and the paradox machine, alternate timelines, dimensional tears… Add to that the whole Dalek Crucible, with the dimensions collapsing and then expanding out again -- there was bound to be some fraying around the edges.

"Captain Harkness called it a 'time eddy,'" Donna continued. "A snippet of a timeline or a dimension just slightly off from this one, that got caught up and latched on to this timeline by accident."

Rhys still looked confused, but Sarah Jane thought they were making progress. They'd moved completely past the 'can we trust you' round of questions, and were into the nitty gritty of the 'what happened to you' round.

According to Donna, she'd been dropped off by the Doctor (memory-less), and immediately fallen into this "time eddy." She'd ended up in the future and been met by Captain Harkness, who'd slapped an identical memory device on her wrist, explained what was happening (along with some useful Torchwood codes), and sent her back to the past. Sarah Jane still wasn't sure why she'd been sent back so far -- Donna gave one of those 'it had already happened that way, so it had to happen again' explanations that always made her brain ache.

Once in the past, Donna made her way to Torchwood One and then Four, where she took charge and quickly took them off the radar for the next three years. Until the other Donna received her alien device, and the two bracelets recognized each other and linked up.

Both Donnas seemed to be taking the news surprisingly well. "So there's two of us now," the first one said.

"Yup. Great, isn't it?" said the second one.

"What about the rest of them?" the first Donna asked, tapping the side of her head. "Why have I got them in my head?"

"That was an accident, actually." Sarah Jane was realizing a lot of things in Torchwood seemed to happen by accident. "One of them was experimenting with the radios, to see if we could hook them into the bracelet's virtual interface and get visual as well as audio."

"It didn't work?"

"No, it did," Donna said, making a face. "We just can't figure out how to turn it off again. We're all a bit in each others' heads these days."

"Where are they?" Gwen asked. She was looking around suspiciously, like she expected Torchwood Four to suddenly leap out from the kitchen and shout 'Boo'.

"Back at the hotel." Both Donnas spoke at once, then looked at each other in surprise.

The second Donna added, "It seemed smarter not to descend on you all at once. Also, the baby doesn't like to travel."

********************************

Sarah Jane hadn't noticed Jack wasn't in the room until he hurried back in. "Let's wrap it up, kids," he said. "We've got to get back to the Hub."

"What's going on?" she asked.

Jack's expression was an odd mix of sheepish and uneasy. "Our AI's not taking my calls," he said. "Could be nothing, could be trouble. It's a little temperamental, but we should still check it out." There was a flurry of hugs and promises to text, and then Ianto was handing out neatly packed luggage and the team was piling into the SUV.

Just like that, the group started breaking up. "I should probably go check on Chrissie," Alan said. Maria looked like she was going to protest, but Alan held up a hand to stop her. "Yes, you can stay here while I talk to your mother. But -- homework, Maria. It's back to school for you tomorrow."

"That goes for all of you," Sarah Jane added.

"But we helped!" Clyde said.

"Of course you did," she told him. "We all did. And now we carry on. You can't just sit around, waiting for the next adventure to find you; you have to get out there in the world, live your life. It only comes around once, you know. Usually, anyway."

The Donnas had been chatting quietly, and announced they were heading out to meet up with the rest of Torchwood Four. Martha and Mickey invited themselves along, and there was another round of hugs and thank yous.

The house seemed quiet after that, even with Luke and Maria and Clyde in the next room. Still, back to work. The ringing phone interrupted her musings.

"Hello?"

"Sarah Jane! Your mobile's turned off."

"Jack?" There was a lot of background noise, but it sounded like his voice.

"Ianto sweet-talked the AI," he explained. "So we stopped for chips here in town, which are fantastic, by the way. Best chips I've had in years. Come join the party; Martha and the Donnas and everyone else are already on their way. Bring the kids -- we'll celebrate!"

She was laughing as she hung up the phone. That was why they'd tried so hard, after all -- to save the Earth, to save Donna. Not for the excitement, or the adventure (or at least, not just those things), but for laughter, and chips -- and making new memories to go with the old. "Come on," she called. "Maria, we'll collect your parents on the way. Let's go eat chips!"