Six Horses, a Toilet Plunger, and a Wireless Mouse

by Starhawk

"I don't understand why there won't be a turkey," Finn said.

RJ paused long enough to roll his eyes at the door.  Of course he didn't understand.  RJ had only explained it to him four times, and three of those times he had explicitly stated that if his father wanted turkey for Thanksgiving he was welcome to go somewhere else.

"We're not having turkey," he said aloud.  "In case it somehow escaped your notice, Dad, I'm a vegetarian."

"Well, you may be the one cooking, but you're not the only one eating," Finn told him.

"Fran is a bird spirit," RJ said, "and we are not consuming the flesh of a turkey in front of her while paying homage to what is supposed to be a celebration of life."

"Plants are alive too," Finn said.  "We all eat to survive, RJ."

"And we all choose what to eat," RJ replied.  "If you want turkey, you can go find your own."  Were they really having this conversation a fifth time?  He waited for the inevitable comment about his squeamishness.

"I'd be happy to prepare a turkey if your arbitrary standards won't allow you to do it yourself," Finn announced.  "Your animal spirit is a wolf, for god's sake.  I don't understand where you learned to equate dietary necessities with a lack of respect."

"I could use some help with the tables."  Casey's intervention was merciful and, as far as RJ was concerned, entirely appropriate.  It had been his idea to invite RJ's dad in the first place.  "Lily's busy, and I can't ask Theo because I might accidentally ask Luen instead and I still remember Lily's story about last time.  Would you mind?"

"Of course," Finn said.  "I'd be happy to be of assistance."

"Great!"  Casey held his hand out to one side with a familiar-looking flourish.

His plan might have gone more smoothly if two women hadn't knocked on the front door at exactly that moment.  Given that they turned out to be Casey's sisters, they provided an equal or better diversion from the activities of the kitchen.  Unfortunately, it was a thorough diversion that did nothing to separate RJ and his dad, which--he hoped--had been the original point of Casey's interruption.

Shelley was older than Casey; Celerity, younger.  RJ had memorized vital statistics including school, study, relationship with parents, and significant others.  Nothing had prepared him, though, for the way they immediately identified and focused him.

"RJ!" the younger sister exclaimed, before Casey had even started introductions.  "We've heard so much about you!"

"Yes," he agreed, smiling.  "And I about you."

"Yeah, the boyfriend gets all the embarrassing stories, I'm sure," Celerity said, giving Casey a push that he pretended to be hurt by.  "That's the role of sisters everywhere; making their brothers look good."

Unfazed, RJ offered, "I find that my friends usually fill that role in our relationship."

"Hey!" Dom protested.  "It's not easy to make you look good, so watch it!"

"RJ, this is Celerity," Casey interrupted.  "And Shelley."  He pointed to the dark-haired sister, and she smiled.  "You guys managed to pick out RJ right away--"

"Oh, like that was so hard," Celerity put in, and Casey wrapped an arm around her and covered her mouth.

"Stop talking," he said quickly.  RJ tried not to smile, but it was a losing battle.  "This is Dom," Casey added, finding a plausible reason to avoid his gaze, "and Lily, and RJ's dad, Finn."

"Hi," Shelley said, offering a wave while Celerity tried to shove Casey off of her.  "We're dividing up the holidays between Casey and Mom and Dad.  It's kind of like having divorced parents, except that they never ask about each other."

"Okay, geez," Casey said, letting Celerity go.  "I'm obviously silencing the wrong sister.  You guys can go any time now."

"We actually have several siblings here today," RJ said.  Casey might have invited his dad, but he had campaigned for the chance to meet Casey's sisters so he felt he bore some of the responsibility.  "Dom's sister is visiting, and Theo's brother stopped by to say hi as well."

"And to completely confuse us," Lily added.  "They're twins.  Even I can't tell them apart.  It's a little freaky."

"Here's a hint," Casey said, rolling his eyes.  "Theo's the one wearing blue."

"He also tends to be a chest walker," Finn remarked.  "Luen walks with his head tilted slightly more forward."

RJ glanced at Casey and found him looking back, eyebrows raised, but Lily and Dom turned to stare at Finn outright.  "No way," Dom said.

Finn just looked at him, and Dom held up his hands.  "Okay.  If you say so."

"Is your sister around?" Casey asked.  "You didn't really let her go off with Theo and Luen, did you?"

"Why not?" Dom said with a shrug.  "No one understands twins anyway.  They all feel right at home with each other."

"Rosa, right?"  Celerity was well-informed.  "Casey says she's the reason you sign?"

"Rosalie."  Dom signed "Rose," giving Casey an odd look that RJ interpreted to mean, Is this good or bad?  Dom liked Casey a lot, and he spent a disproportionate amount of time trying to get Casey to like him back.  Some days it worked better than others.

RJ tried to stay out of it as much as possible, partly because talking about Dom around Casey seemed to be counterproductive, and partly because talking about Casey around Dom usually meant that he said way too much.

"She's Deaf," Dom was saying.  "It's pretty sweet that Casey signs; gives her someone else to talk to when she's here."

"Yeah, I'd get bored talking to Dom all the time too," Casey put in.

"Oh, hey!" Lily pushed past him to peer out the door.  "They're in the courtyard; just a sec."  She disappeared outside, letting the door slam behind her.  Lily never yelled around Rosalie unless it was the only way to get the attention of whoever she was with.

"Can we help with dinner?" Shelley wanted to know, glancing around.  "You guys obviously have things under control--"

"Yeah, nothing's on fire," Celerity remarked.  "Always a good sign."

RJ frowned at Casey, who just shrugged.

"We were about to prepare the table," his dad told Casey's sisters.  "Perhaps you could assist Casey and I in arranging and place setting."

Effectively preventing him from talking to them at all, RJ thought with a sigh.  Leave it to his dad to thwart him without even trying.  He was like the opposite of serendipity.

The door swung open again, and Lily, Rosalie, Theo, and Luen all spilled into the room.  Lily was gesturing excitedly, in a way that she must think was helpful but was really only making Rosalie laugh.  RJ had to smile.  Dom's sister was one of the most outgoing people he knew, and she had never let the language barrier stand in her way.

He saw Casey's hands move when Rosalie's gaze tracked in his direction, and RJ recognized, "My sisters," followed by spelling that was probably their names.  It was too fast for RJ, but it made Rose brighten.  She echoed the spelling easily and waved a cheery "hi" to both of them.

"Hi!" Celerity exclaimed, waving in return.  "You must be Rosalie!"

"Nice to meet you," Shelley added, with a wave of her own.

"Oh, because we don't count," Theo was saying to Luen.

"Apparently not," Luen agreed.

Celerity was poking Casey.  "How do I say 'nice to meet you'?" she wanted to know.

Rose waved for her attention, searching her pockets for--her iPhone, if RJ had to guess.  And indeed, she came out with the little device a moment later.  It had an English-to-ASL translation program, complete with signed video from some university somewhere.  They had all spent so much time playing with it the night before that they'd run the phone's battery down to nothing.

"Ooh, an iPhone," Shelley murmured.  "I've never actually seen one of those."

Dom reached out and waved in his sister's peripheral vision.  "Never seen," he signed, pointing to Shelley when Rose looked up.  At least, RJ recognized "see" and he could make a guess at the other signs.

Rose beamed.  It looked like another iPhone love-fest was in the works.

"Hey," Casey said, leaning into him casually.  "We're going to need weird dishes for this meal.  Where'd you put those little sauce things?"

"I don't know," RJ said.  No one appeared to be listening, with the possible exception of his dad who gave them a passing glance.  "But I'd be happy to show you."

"That'd be great," Casey agreed.  Waving RJ toward the kitchen, he added to the room at large, "Be right back."

It wasn't until the door had closed behind them that Casey grinned.  "Well, at least now I know what it takes to get a minute alone with you at Thanksgiving."

RJ tilted his head, considering.  "Lying?" he suggested.

"Hey."  Casey pointed at him.  "We do need weird dishes, and you don't know where they are.  Nothing about that is a lie."

"And yet we presented it with the intent to deceive," RJ pointed out.

"The intent was to be polite," Casey corrected.  "Also, you'll be happy to know I finally have a question for your answer."

Wow.  That sounded a lot like... him, actually.

"What's the question?" RJ wanted to know.

"What do I need to get RJ alone on Thanksgiving," Casey repeated patiently.  "Wild horses to drag your dad away, a stick to beat my sisters off, and the internet to distract everyone else."

While RJ couldn't argue with that, he didn't recognize the reference until Casey added, "Six horses, a toilet plunger, and a wireless mouse?"

"Ah."  He felt a smile threaten.  "I'm starting to think you have a very selective memory."

"Yup."  Casey grinned back at him.  "It selects the things you say over everything else.  Even when they don't make any sense.  Especially when they don't make any sense."

"While I'm flattered by the effort," RJ began, "I feel I should warn you that attempting to decipher everything I say may not actually advance your education.  Some things... really don't make any sense."

"I think it's all in the interpretation," Casey told him.  "And I hate to break it to you, but I'm not actually trying to advance my education."

RJ raised his eyebrows.  "Dare I question your motivation?"

Casey smiled again.  "Got your attention, didn't it?"

RJ couldn't help but laugh, looking down at the floor as he shook his head.  "I'm relatively certain," he said, glancing back at Casey, "that the last thing you need to do to get my attention is try."

"Laughter!"  Casey lifted his hands above his head, apparently congratulating himself.  "Sweet!  Mission accomplished!"

RJ laughed again, because there was only one appropriate answer and if it was in the spirit of the holiday then he supposed he couldn't complain.  "Thank you," he said.

Casey's grin was easy and certain.  "Any time."


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